Sunday, February 13, 2011

Love still aches within.....

Sunday afternoons I normally spend lazying over some movie on TV & today ZStudio was showing "Love Story", an epic written by Eric has been one of my favourites, over so many years. She had presented me with the book, a year before she left us. A poignant tale of two young souls in love & their journey through the roughs of life....the boy, Oliver Barrett, from an excessively wealthy family & the girl, Jennifer Calligiari, from a struggling background. Oliver & his father, the rich baron would never see eye to eye, with huge egos coming into play. Oliver walks out of his riches to marry Jennifer, willing to rough it out with the world. The differences in culture, the challenges of settling down, the conflicts, the girl working for an earning, while the boy studied Law....but Love prevailing.
The story however has a very heart wrenching ending, with Jenny being detected with Cancer(those days it had virtually no cure), & slowly drifting to death, as Oliver watches & endures with frustration. To manage medical expenses, he even pushes himself to go to his father & ask for 5000 USD, much that he hated himself to do so. And finally Jenny his arms, secured & loved....but life snuffed out !! A story worth reading for anyone in deep, so poignant.

The movie took me back in times....memories came flashing by.....painful memories. A story that was so strikingly similar & dreadfully painful.
We were so much in many much to look forward to, and then she left me....or rather Leukemia took her away. I could only watch helplessly, as she endured pain,..... fought bravely for two months...... eventually the dark death slowly but surely engulfed her into oblivion. Her going away had made me silent....for a very long time(even today, I drift into inexplicable silence). Those were dark days.....hollow days......bottomless days. I left home...drifted from one place to another, over years....& honestly, I guess, am still drifting.
I have got into work, travelled to newer locations, met newer people, got into relationships, but somewhere, the pain remained, the void retained. The ache very much there, within the deepest recesses of my heart......alive & throbbing. Nothing has been able to remove the ache...people have come & gone..... relations in & out......situations good & bad.....but the pain has remained like a dull throb.
We were so committed, so much full, flowery & musical in Love...hardly a dull moment. Maybe too colourful & charming to be true !!!! A fairy Love story nipped in the bud.
"I miss you......& I miss you so much that it really Sorry, I could not stop the inevitable. Today there is cure & I can afford it, but you are gone....why????? I do feel sorry...I do feel let down !!!"....& I can hear you saying, "Love means never having to say you're Sorry........"(famous lines from the book)

Your Love still makes me Live & never say no to Life......, the moist eyes promise you a smile..through long as I breathe.....

The forest, dark & deep, but I still have promises to keep.....& miles to go before I sleep (Robert Frost)!!!