If Rajni Kant no one ever Can !!!!

As Endhiran (Robot) fever grips the whole Nation,  - let's remind ourselves once again why there is wonly vun RAJNI !!!!

• When Rajni does push ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
• There is no such thing as evolution, its just a list of creatures that Rajnikant allowed to live.
• Rajnikant can divide by zero.
• Rajnikant can judge a book by its cover.
• Rajnikant can delete the Recycle Bin.
• Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
• Rajnikant once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are called giraffes today.
• Rajnikant's Calender goes straight from March 31st to 2nd April. No one fools Rajnikant.
• Rajnikant can make onions cry.
• Rajnikant destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise.
• Rajnikant once got into a knife-fight. The knife obviously lost.
• Rajnikant never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
• Rajnikant does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
• Rajnikant has already been to Mars. That's why there is no sign of life there.
• Rajnikant doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at a speed just behind Rajnikant.
• Rajnikant knows Victoria's secrets.
• When you say,"no one is perfect", Rajnikant takes it as a personal insult.
• Google wont find Rajnikant because you dont find Rajnikant; Rajnikant finds you.
• Rajnikant leaves messages before the beep.
• Rajnikant calls Voldemort by his name.
• Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world & punch himself in the back of the head.
• Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch. he decides what time it is.
• In an average living room there are 1242 objects that Rajnikant can use to kill you, including the room itself. 
• When Rajnikant is asked to kill someone he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet & directs it the day he finds out. 
• Rajnikant's next film is called Twitter. - He plays 140 characters.
• Rajnikant has counted to infinity, twice. 
• There are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajnikant lives in Chennai. 
• Water boils faster, when Rajnikant stares at it. 
• Rajnikant kills two stones with one bird.  
• Rajnikant killed the Dead Sea.
• Rajnikant gave MonaLisa that smile.
• Rajnikant can drown a fish.
• Rajnikant knows what came first, 'the Chicken or the Egg'.
• Rajnikant once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
• Rajnikant once ordered a plate of idlis in McDonalds, and got it.
• Rajnikant can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off. 
•  Rajnikant can build a snowman out of rain.
• Rajnikant can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
• Rajnikant will attain separate statehood in 2013.
• Rajnikant's email is gmail@rajnikant.com
• Rajnikant did, in fact, build Rome in one day.
• Rajnikant can play the violin with a piano. 
• Rajnikant kills Harry Potter in the eighth book. 
• Rajnikant gave the joker those scars.
• Rajnikant once warned a young girl to "be good, or else". The result, - Mother Teresa.
• Rajnikant electrocuted the Iron Man.
• Rajnikant killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
• Rajnikant can strangulate you with a cordless phone.
• Rajnikant puts the word, 'laughter', in 'manslaughter'.
• Rajnikant goes to court & sentences the judge.
• Rajnikant can handle the truth.
• Rajnikant can teach an old dog, new tricks.
• Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
• The last time Rajnikant killed someone, he slapped himself to do so. The other guy just disintegrated. - Resonance.
• Rajnikant can lick his elbows.
• There is no such thing as Global Warming. Rajnikant was feeling cold, so he brought the Sun closer to heat up the Earth.
• Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
• Rajnikant got his driving license at the age of 16 seconds.
• The statement, 'nobody can cheat death', is a personal insult to Rajnikant. He cheats & fools death everyday.
• Rajnikant can give pain to painkillers & headache to Anacin.
• Rajnikant knows what women really want.
• Time and Tide wait for Rajnikant.
• Rajnikant can answer a missed call.
• As a child when Rajnikant had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabets.
• Rajnikant doesn't need a Visa to travel abroad. He just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai & holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. 
• Rajnikant's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhary's. 
• Rajnikant doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
• To be or not to be? That's the question. The answer is Rajnikant.
• The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajnikant's fist.
• Where there's a will there's a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way.
• At Bowling, Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes. He just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint & fall out of fear.
• Words like Awesome, Brilliance, Legendary etc, were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was when Rajnikant was born.
• Archaeologists unearthed an old English Dictionary, dated back to the year 1236. It defined 'victim' as 'one who has encountered Rajnikant'.
• Once a King Cobra bit Rajnikant's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the King Cobra died.
• Rajnikant is a champion in the game of hide & seek. No one can hide from Rajnikant.
• Rajnikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide reaction.
• Rajnikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
• Aliens do indeed exist. However, they just know better than to visit a planet that Rajnikant is on. 
• Rajnikant doesn't style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer fear. 
• When Rajnikant plays Monopoly, it affects the world economy. 
• Rajnikant is the only man to to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 
• Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.  

PS : I got all of these from a friend over an email, & burst out laughing. Could not help put them up for people across the world to read & laugh as well......its simply hilarious !! If anyone has more to add, please do so.......
(I have been given a grace of  10 days to watch the movie Endhiran, or die. I am going to watch ROBOT, the Hindi version, next week, cause if I dont Rajnikant Will !!!)......Pls pray for my survival !!!!