Wednesday, October 20, 2010

If Rajni Kant no one ever Can !!!!

As Endhiran (Robot) fever grips the whole Nation,  - let's remind ourselves once again why there is wonly vun RAJNI !!!!
  • When Rajni does push ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
  • There is no such thing as evolution, its just a list of creatures that Rajnikant allowed to live.
  • Rajnikant can divide by zero.
  • Rajnikant can judge a book by its cover.
  • Rajnikant can delete the Recycle Bin.
  • Rajnikant can slam a revolving door.
  • Rajnikant once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are called giraffes today.
  • Rajnikant's Calender goes straight from March 31st to 2nd April. No one fools Rajnikant.
  • Rajnikant can make onions cry.
  • Rajnikant destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise.
  • Rajnikant once got into a knife-fight. The knife obviously lost.
  • Rajnikant never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
  • Rajnikant does not own a stove, oven or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
  • Rajnikant has already been to Mars. That's why there is no sign of life there.
  • Rajnikant doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at a speed just behind Rajnikant.
  • Rajnikant knows Victoria's secrets.
  • When you say,"no one is perfect", Rajnikant takes it as a personal insult.
  • Google wont find Rajnikant because you dont find Rajnikant; Rajnikant finds you.
  • Rajnikant leaves messages before the beep.
  • Rajnikant calls Voldemort by his name.
  • Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world & punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Rajnikant doesn't wear a watch. he decides what time it is.
  • In an average living room there are 1242 objects that Rajnikant can use to kill you, including the room itself. 
  • When Rajnikant is asked to kill someone he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet & directs it the day he finds out. 
  • Rajnikant's next film is called Twitter. - He plays 140 characters.
  • Rajnikant has counted to infinity, twice. 
  • There are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajnikant lives in Chennai. 
  • Water boils faster, when Rajnikant stares at it. 
  • Rajnikant kills two stones with one bird.  
  • Rajnikant killed the Dead Sea.
  • Rajnikant gave MonaLisa that smile.
  • Rajnikant can drown a fish.
  • Rajnikant knows what came first, 'the Chicken or the Egg'.
  • Rajnikant once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
  • Rajnikant once ordered a plate of idlis in McDonalds, and got it.
  • Rajnikant can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
  • The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off. 
  •  Rajnikant can build a snowman out of rain.
  • Rajnikant can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
  • Rajnikant will attain separate statehood in 2013.
  • Rajnikant's email is gmail@rajnikant.com
  • Rajnikant did, in fact, build Rome in one day.
  • Rajnikant can play the violin with a piano. 
  • Rajnikant kills Harry Potter in the eighth book. 
  • Rajnikant gave the joker those scars.
  • Rajnikant once warned a young girl to "be good, or else". The result, - Mother Teresa.
  • Rajnikant electrocuted the Iron Man.
  • Rajnikant killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
  • Rajnikant can strangulate you with a cordless phone.
  • Rajnikant puts the word, 'laughter', in 'manslaughter'.
  • Rajnikant goes to court & sentences the judge.
  • Rajnikant can handle the truth.
  • Rajnikant can teach an old dog, new tricks.
  • Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  • The last time Rajnikant killed someone, he slapped himself to do so. The other guy just disintegrated. - Resonance.
  • Rajnikant can lick his elbows.
  • There is no such thing as Global Warming. Rajnikant was feeling cold, so he brought the Sun closer to heat up the Earth.
  • Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  • Rajnikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
  • Rajnikant got his driving license at the age of 16 seconds.
  • The statement, 'nobody can cheat death', is a personal insult to Rajnikant. He cheats & fools death everyday.
  • Rajnikant can give pain to painkillers & headache to Anacin.
  • Rajnikant knows what women really want.
  • Time and Tide wait for Rajnikant.
  • Rajnikant can answer a missed call.
  • As a child when Rajnikant had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabets.
  • Rajnikant doesn't need a Visa to travel abroad. He just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai & holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. 
  • Rajnikant's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhary's. 
  • Rajnikant doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
  • To be or not to be? That's the question. The answer is Rajnikant.
  • The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajnikant's fist.
  • Where there's a will there's a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way.
  • At Bowling, Rajnikant doesn't bowl strikes. He just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint & fall out of fear.
  • Words like Awesome, Brilliance, Legendary etc, were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was when Rajnikant was born.
  • Archaeologists unearthed an old English Dictionary, dated back to the year 1236. It defined 'victim' as 'one who has encountered Rajnikant'.
  • Once a King Cobra bit Rajnikant's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the King Cobra died.
  • Rajnikant is a champion in the game of hide & seek. No one can hide from Rajnikant.
  • Rajnikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide reaction.
  • Rajnikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
  • Aliens do indeed exist. However, they just know better than to visit a planet that Rajnikant is on. 
  • Rajnikant doesn't style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer fear. 
  • When Rajnikant plays Monopoly, it affects the world economy. 
  • Rajnikant is the only man to to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 
  • Rajnikant's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.  

PS : I got all of these from a friend over an email, & burst out laughing. Could not help put them up for people across the world to read & laugh as well......its simply hilarious !! If anyone has more to add, please do so.......
(I have been given a grace of  10 days to watch the movie Endhiran, or die. I am going to watch ROBOT, the Hindi version, next week, cause if I dont Rajnikant Will !!!)......Pls pray for my survival !!!!

5 comments:

sharada said...

It is OH GOD!!!!!!!!so hilarious.....even i heard it is wonderful movie.....me too waiting to watch it......

Funny Ringtuners said...

lol ...that's funny ...

Anonymous said...

well..its funny but nothing new in their.....these all are CHuck Norris facts.
Get some new stuff bips

Anonymous said...

and the Rajnikant award goes to 'Oscar' ;)

Nafee said...

It's hilarious !! My jaws are tired because of laughing !!!