Friday, July 3, 2009

Gay & Happy.......its Legal now!!!!!

In a path breaking verdict today at the Delhi High Court, article 377 has been revoked & consensual sex between adults of same sex is now legal in India. The judgement came after unanimous opinion of the medical & psychiatric fraternity, that homosexuality is neither a disease nor a disorder. Its just another expression of human sexuality. The media, both electronic & print, several radio channels, all have been busy covering this hot hot topic & people from all walks of life are being interviewed for their opinions & reactions. Various celebrities, especially from Bollywood think that this is a very good move. Lots of human rights activists are welcoming this move. Personally I am not sure that the problem is over. In fact, we might just be opening up a huge pandora's box........& results could have very diverse effects, mostly regressing.

My first interaction with a gay person was way back in mid 80s, when I was studying my Masters from Calcutta University.
It was late on a chilly December evening & I was travelling by bus in Calcutta. The bus was fairly empty & at a stop somewhere in Central Calcutta, a queer looking & behaving man boarded the bus, looked around & then came & smilingly sat besides me. He was sporting a floral shirt, reeking of cheap perfume & eyes heavy with eyeliners. The bus conductor came along, looked at him knowingly, & muttered a regular profanity while cutting his ticket, "ooff aabar ekta boka***** elo"....a slang rhetoric in Bengali, meaning, "again one of those dumb bastards have come". The man was however most unmoved & after paying for his ticket, looked at me with a smile that had my guts revolting without any reason. He tried to open a conversation with me, while the other passengers looked at us with interest & smirk. He sounded very effeminate & queer. Suddenly I became very conscious & uncomfortable about this man. Something inside me felt very repelling & I quietly got up & sat two rows away. By this time two other men came up to this man as as he smiled at them, they caught hold of his collar & slapped him. They started abusing him & beating him up. He was not very defensive & did little to protect himself.......as if he was enjoying the blows. A minute or two later the bus stopped for the next passenger, & this man was virtually pushed out. The men in the bus started laughing aloud & passing lewd remarks. It then dawned on me that this man was a Gay. I was too shocked & startled to react.

Around ten years later, probably in 1994, I was working for a large multinational firm as a Sales Manager. Coincidentally again on a wintery evening & in Calcutta, this time, I was riding my mobike from Lake Gardens(South Calcutta) to Lake Town(North Calcutta). At Gariahat, a man asked for a lift uptill Park Circus, & I obliged. Sitting behind, the man started a conversation & told me that he was an LIC agent & wanted some references. He asked me if I had friends & I said I had plenty. He instantly said, "I want to become your special friend" & gave me a tight hug from behind. Though this was queer, I probably did not pay attention. We spoke generally some more about our likes & dislikes, while I drove. When he got down, we exchanged our business cards & then I left. He promised to come over to my office & in turn I said I will introduce him to my colleagues. Strangely he said, "I will come, only for you". The very next day, I was out on business calls through the day & when I returned in the evening, my office colleagues started giving me cat calls, passing jokes & generally picking at me. At first I did not understand. It had been a long day & I was hard pressed for time to prepare some business proposals. Then someone told me that a man had come looking for me & had waited for me for more than 3 hours. He finally left with a note & a small packet for me. I tore open the packet immediately to understand what was going on. The note was a love letter wanting a physical relation at any cost & the small packet was Cadbury's chocolate bar along with a pack of condoms!!!!!!!It was the same man whom I had given lift the previous night. He was a Gay....a homosexual. The office colleagues were all over me, cracking with lewd remarks & laughter. I was embarrassed & did not know how & what to say. It felt awkward to be associated with a Gay person. I narrated the previous night's episode to everyone & told the office boy not to allow this man in our office, if he were to come again. The man returned the very next day & obviously after some heckling, was shooed out. The whole incident had left a bad taste in me. I felt repelled.

These two incidents had me thinking about people who are gay or lesbians. I have felt sympathetic & sorry for these people. Over the years, I have heard a lot being said about Gay & Lesbians acorss the world. Some in favour & some against. I have been involved in many debates & discussions on this topic....
I consider myself fairly liberal & modern in my thoughts & actions, but fundamentally, I dont endorse to Gay or Lesbian habits. I feel, it is a perverse attitude. Something that is unnatural. Something that is repulsive & unhealthy. I believe that such feelings are a result of deep rooted insecurities & trauma. Some childhood incident or experience or abuse that has distanced them from the mainstream. Therefore we need to empathise with such people. We need to help them come out of this emotional disorder. The medical & psychiatric opinon says that "this is not a disorder or disease, just another expression of human sexuality." Therefore these people need to be given support & counselling. We need to help them return to what is normal. There are historical evidences of such abnormalities in all religions & their scriptures alright. But, they are depictions of what was present in olden times as well......as abnormalities. So reference to past does not make homosexuality an 'in thing'. We need to work sensitively towards bringing back these people to mainstream. We need to show love & affection & build courage & faith in them, helping them to drop their past experiences which has led them to such behavioural patterns. Various STDs(sexually transmitted diseases), HIV etc have spread so rapidly across the human race the world over, due to homosexuality.

Homosexuals deserve to have democratic rights.......they are sensitive people, probably a tad scared & lonely. They tend to look for people with similar behaviour as that is comforting for them. Some of them are immensely talented & capable. The Law now helps recognise them, but does not heal them. By just making homosexuality legal, we have not resolved the issue.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

ye aaj tak ka sabse bekar judgement hai.ye soch kar bhi

Anonymous said...

ye aaj tak ka sabse bekar judgement hai.ye soch kar bhi

Anonymous said...

ye aaj tak ka sabse bekar judgement hai.ye soch kar bhi

nandini said...

way to go , bips!!! a very sensible outlook.not many will endorse what you say for fear of being labelled old fashioned.
But, I agree that nature surely hadnt meant homosexuality to be the "in" thing,but its MAN's folly that he keeps on wanting to take over NATURE, in vain.

Anonymous said...

I have heard of so many known people who are gay. Even the thought is repulsive. Is there any help for them please??