Tuesday, November 4, 2008

English is a funny Language......

It's really difficult to learn English !!!

Various expressions in English that one comes across :

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

English is a crazy language... otherwise how do you explain the following :

a) There is no egg in eggplant,
b) Ham in hamburger;
c) Apple nor pine in pineapple,
d) English muffins weren't invented in England,
e) French fries weren't invented in France,
f) Sweetmeats are candies,
g) Sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Just look at the paradoxes ....

Quicksand can work slowly;
Boxing rings are square;
Guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it
seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, If you have a bunch
of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship
by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise
guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people,
not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of
course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are
visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.


Vaibhav said...

heh heh hehh ehheheheheh hahahahah\HHSHSHAHAHHHSASIHDHASHASIHAHAHAHAHAHA i am actually rolling on the ground after i finished reading... HAHAHAHAH ASLDKHAKSHDAKHD{AHAHHAAHAHASHDASHDAKSAKSLHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

English langauage jalebi ki tarah ekdum sidha hai

Anupam Dutt Jha

Anuja said...

Hehee... wonderful post Bips. More so coz I love the language and am passionate about all its intricacies and paradoxes!!!

Thanks for your comment on my post, but I was hoping it would be on a more recent one! You commented on one that dated back to centuries ;-)

Thanks anyways, and keep writin! Good to see my note on Mahabhrata has sparked this fervor in you! All the best!